Weaving Worlds Academy
by Adele Elisabeth
Summary: Weaving Worlds Academy (a spinoff of OFUM) has sprung up in Ankh-Morpork. Meet the Larrys, the Headmistress's approach to 'Learn Through Pain' and, of course, our professors. 'Dying: How not to' with Professor Rincewind. 'Evil Overlords In History: Why Th


Disclaimers: Whoo. Let me see…well, OFUM and the idea of fanfiction universities belongs to Camilla Sandman. All the different universes visited, used or mentioned however briefly belong to their respective creators. Harry Potter, for example, belongs to JKR etc. Medieval/Fantasy, though…er, not too sure about that one. I think you're clever enough to work out what I do and don't own. Discworld belongs to the Almighty Pterry, Ms Dee and I promise faithfully we won't break anything. Or anyone. 

Students don't count. 

Thanks to: 

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Author's Note: 

It struck me when I was reading OFUM thingies today, that nobody's done a role-play university. Fanfiction is well covered, but role-playing has definitely been neglected…it stretches over so many fandoms, therefore making it rather more difficult to cover, but not impossible. 

And we really, really need a university…[shuddertwitch]

Every university needs a mini. Since, clearly, role-players can't exactly have the traditional sorts…

The opening scene is an adaptation of a little creation of mine – _"When Role Plays Attack – A Mary Sue Documentary". _Ms Beth's speech is WRPA-AMSD, except for, of course, her last words. 

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If you'd like to sign up for Weaving Worlds, the enrolment form can be seen below, and be sure to add any other important data for your student-self – such as personality and basic looks. Species will be based on your characters, please keep that in mind. 

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Weaving Worlds Academy

Chapter One: Larrys, Lucius and Luv, Oh My! 

By Adele Elisabeth

~*~

A short, dark-haired woman wearing wire-rim half-moon glasses, a stern expression and a tweed suit stands in front of you, and clears her throat. "A parasitic creature, commonly known as a Meh-Ree Suuuu, is found on the Role Play Boards." She pauses, and sighs. "They come in deceptively attractive packages, feeding on the skill of an advanced role-player until said role-player gives up in frustration and infuriation, leaving the Mary-Sue free to move onto the next victim. These parasites generally neutralise themselves harmlessly by spending their time in the company of other Mary-Sues and the male version of the parasite, Gary-Stus. Unfortunately, they do find themselves unwilling victims from time to time, and are more in numbers than true role-players." She stops, and gives you a frighteningly perky smile, sits down in a chair that you could've sworn wasn't there a moment ago, smoothes her skirt, and says, "I'm Ms Beth, the headmistress here. Welcome to Weaving Worlds Academy of Ankh-Morpork." 

~*~

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ROLE PLAY ACADEMY ENROLMENT FORM

NAME: lydia black

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WHAT YOU PREFER TO BE CALLED: lydia

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SEX: female

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ROLE-PLAYING GENRE: harry potter and medievil/fantasy

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TIME YOU HAVE BEEN ROLE-PLAYING: Six months 

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MAIN CHARACTERS: hermoine granger, princess k'leya moonglow of faerieland

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WHAT MANNER OF CREATURES ARE YOUR CHARACTERS? princess k'leya is a fairy-elf-cat and hermoine is a witch

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AGE: 14

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WHY DO YOUR ROLE PLAY? coz its fun and I like it

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HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE ACCUSED YOU OF MARYSUEING, BAD CHARACTERISATION, SPELLING+GRAMMAR ERRORS, ETC? a lot but their just jaluss coz my charicters r so cool

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HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SCARED AWAY? wot?

WHAT TYPE OF ROLEPLAYS DO YOU DO? (I.E ROMANCE, COMEDY) luv and advintur

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WEAVING WORLDS ACADEMY WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INJURY YOU SUSTAIN DURING YOUR STAY. YOU ENROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU MUST GRADUATE WEAVING WORLDS ACADEMY AND RECEIVE YOUR LICENSE BEFORE YOU MAY ROLE-PLAY AGAIN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. PLEASE SIGN HERE

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Ms Beth, headmistress of WWA, sighed as she sifted through the enrolment forms. With luck, they could get the first term started off without too much fuss from the student body, but she didn't have much hope for that. 

Role players. Pfft. They called themselves role-players? She called them a menace. But, that was what she was here to do. Deal with those menaces, and let them loose again, as decent role-players, or see to it that they never got anywhere near a chatroom ever again. 

She ran her eyes down the list of classes of professors she was employing, and thought, with a sigh, of all the trouble there was going to be. 

Most of the professors had been hired here on the Disc, but there were a few from other fandoms, mostly Harry Potter, Ms Beth had noted. They had been the ones who had responded, she thought with a mental shrug, and by this point she was taking what she could get. It wasn't everyone who would willingly put up with…_them_. 

By them she meant, of course, _students_. Ms Beth shared Archchancellor Ridcully's belief that things would be so much easier running their respective institutions if they didn't have to deal with the students. 

Admittedly, Ms Beth had yet to deal with the number of students they would be taking in at the beginning of the first term – the first term _ever_ for WWA…

It had sprung up across the square from UU, and nobody made any comment. It wasn't the first time things had unexpectedly sprung up around UU, after all. Ms Beth had surfaced at around about the same time, in fact, bringing with her a gargoyle that stood about thigh-high to a dwarf and trotted after her like a puppy.

The gargoyle also seemed to be…multiplying. At first there was just the one, trotting after the headmistress, and then there was another one that sat on the doorstep and looked threatening, and then there were yet more, carrying things around and playing tag and throwing rocks at whoever went past. (There was a bit of trouble when the Patrician came down to investigate the new building and it's curious inhabitants) 

Ms Beth just called them all Larry and patted them, rather vaguely, on the head. 

"They'll be useful when the students come," she'd say whenever questioned, and that simply had to be enough. 

~*~

Lydia Black hadn't asked for any of this. She liked to role-play, and if other people didn't like her role-playing, that wasn't her problem, was it? 

Was it? 

Oh, come on…

But then that enrolment form had just appeared in front of her. She'd tried to pretend it wasn't there, and go on with her role-play (princess k'leya was just about to be rescued by the prince), but to her surprise the computer wasn't responding to _anything_. Eventually, she gave in and filled the damn thing out. 

And then it just went away. Just like that. One minute it was there, big as life and twice as bloody annoying, and the next minute it was gone, and there as a picture of Papa Smurf covering her computer screen that she _knew_ wasn't there a moment ago. 

Oh well. It wasn't like it _meant_ anything, right? 

Right? 

~*~

"Up!" a little voice squealed somewhere in the vicinity of Lydia's head.

The next thing she knew, the blankets had been yanked right off of her and there she was, shivering in the early morning chill, staring wide-eyed at the stone creatures who blinked red-eyes at her from the end of the bed. 

"What the hell?" 

(I think you'll agree those are fairly apt sentiments) 

"Student!" they trilled in unison. 

Now, in order to understand a little better why Lydia was wondering just what had been slipped in her coffee yesterday, you might like to know just what the Larrys look like. 

They are small, stone creatures, gargoyles, as mentioned earlier. Not particularly ugly, though. They had forked tongues, two fangs with no other teeth, odd little pointy noses with rounded nostrils, bright red eyes that sparkled in the dark, feathered wings that were half as large as they were, clawed, three-fingered hands (paws?), and hooves in place of feet. 

They also had little fluffy-bunny-tails. 

Stocky creatures, they could run faster than you'd expect on sturdy little legs, and that appeared to be what they were doing. Jogging from one end of the bed to the other, and occasionally one of them would poke Lydia. 

"What _are_ you?" she breathed. They looked like…

Oh no. 

No, that wasn't possible! She'd made him up! 

"Mummy," one of the Larrys crooned, and tried to cuddle her ankles. 

~*~

In the end, one of the professors had had to come and see what the trouble was, and why wasn't Miss Black already at the Academy? 

"Oh, for—" Lucius cut himself off before he said a 'naughty word'. The Larrys didn't like naughty words, and they had interesting ways of dealing with people who offended them. Ms Beth promised they were trained very well now, but as much as the wizard admired his employer, he didn't entirely trust her. You can't trust someone who can sound _that_ perky all the time. "Lydia Black?" he said curtly. 

"Yeah…" the student's eyes were round with awe. _Lucius Malfoy_ was standing in her bedroom…

Oh god. _LUCIUS MALFOY_ was in her bedroom. 

It was about then that the blasted girl fainted dead away, leaving the irate Lucius to deal with the Larrys (who were poking their 'creator' with things and wondering why it wasn't gibbering anymore) and wonder what on earth the headmistress expected him to do about the 'little situation'.

In the end, he had the Larrys pack up a few of her things, tossed her over his shoulder and hurried back to the WWA, where he could 'delegate' authority and make it somebody else's problem. 

~*~

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Author's Note:

Fairly small first chapter, but there you go. 

Yep, we've got Harry Potter characters thrown into the Discworld, and meeting a few original characters from the Medieval/Fantasy genre doing the 'professor thing' here at Weaving Worlds. 

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Coming Up! 

The students arrive, we meet the professors, and the very first class ('Medieval Fantasy: Basic Training' with Professor Deucan) is taken, and roll call proves more trouble than it's worth. 


End file.
